Complaints

This post is nothing but complaining and whining, so feel free to ignore it. I just have a few things to complain about.

First of all, I am HORRIBLY grateful to be pregnant and have a special little baby girl growing in my womb that will soon be joining our family. I would never complain about being pregnant and all the ups and downs that come with the journey.

But with that being said, I HURT.

And I don't mean the normal aches and pains of being near the end of the pregnancy. I went in last week to get my cerclage removed, and as usual, the doctor first tried to remove it in clinic. I was very skeptical since they weren't able to do it in clinic with Emilie's stitch, but they seemed confident it wouldn't be difficult. That was a fail and just made me cramp and contract the rest of the evening. I went back in the next day so they could do the procedure in the operating room with anesthesia. I was still contracting pretty regularly, even before they started, and they noticed as they were monitoring my contractions that the baby's heartbeat was dropping slightly with the contractions. I had to wait a few hours since there were a few emergency c-sections that I had to wait for, but finally it was my turn and I was taken back. My doctor isn't one to really show frustration too much, but my stitch was really making him upset because it just wasn't coming out easily. Finally, after much longer than anticipated (and some not-so-pleasant reactions to the anesthesia), he finally got the stitch out.

I went back to the recovery room and continued contracting and was worried that labor might be underway. I wasn't ready to have my baby yet, but a part of me was a little excited about the prospect of having everything over and done with. After a few hours though, things started settling down. They were still worried about the baby's heart and made me stay overnight for observation. It was a very long night, that bed was so uncomfortable, but eventually morning came, baby was doing great, and I was able to go home.

That was Thursday and I'm still feeling horrendously sore. I had my weekly appointment yesterday and they checked to see how things were going only to find out that in the process of getting the stitch out, it tore a nice big hole in the side of my cervix. That would explain why I'm still bleeding and feel such sharp pains every time I have contractions. The doctor says that the tear should heal just fine and shouldn't affect any future pregnancies should that be in our future, although it would affect how any future cerclages would be performed. I don't know what affect it will have when I do finally go into labor, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

So until then, I'll just keep getting by in survival mode, horrendously sore and fatigued. Luckily I have resilient kids who don't mind having to watch more tv than usual and put up with a messier house than usual. They don't even mind having to eat pizza and hamburgers more often since mom can't cook as much either. Jarom is doing a great job helping out with the kids so I can rest and take baths - one of the few things that seem to bring much relief.

At least the finish line is in sight. We are now in November, and at some point in this month, I will have my baby girl in my arms and this pregnancy journey will finally come to an end. I can survive just a few more weeks of this, right?